


A Meeting in Maine

by Nocticola



Category: Angel: the Series, Haven (TV)
Genre: Canon compliant death wish, Canon compliant self destructive behavior, Comic: After the Fall, Crossover, Gen, Lots of drinking, Post Episode: s03e13 Thanks for the Memories, Post-Episode: s05e22 Not Fade Away, post-After the Fall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Angel stumbles upon a messed up Nathan Wuornos.





	1. Angel PoV

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write about my 2 faves interacting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel's perspective on Maine, Nathan and the Troubles.

Angel doesn’t come to Maine much. Maine’s seemingly inherent creepiness is a bit much even for him. Despite being a vampire, he’s gotten used to a sunny climate. But he’s once again wound up there. It’s winter, so traveling is easier. But he’s been traveling a while and needs a break. He found a motel and its bar is a good enough place to spend the night.  


He gets to the bar and orders a scotch. Some instincts never die, and he checks out his fellow patrons at the bar. Some old men sit at the booths and tables, nursing their beers or talking and laughing. On the left, at the other side of the bar counter, Angel spies another man, pale and with a rather impressive grief beard, wearing clothing that is starting to be too light for the cold weather, drinking a beer. Angel has had that problem sometimes, which is one benefit of staying in places with rarely changing weather. Angel knows how important it is to blend in, so he keeps an eye on these things. This man seemingly doesn’t, which makes Angel suspicious. But he’s here to drink, so he ignores his issues. Especially since he can’t sense any other vampires in the bar.  


For a moment the bar is silent, nothing is happening, people are barely talking. Angel is happy about that. He needs some peace and quiet. But after about a 10 minutes of that, a glass break, Angel smells blood (there is something odd about it) and from the other side of the bar he can hear a quiet  
“Well, fuck.”  


Angel puts his scotch glass down, to look what is happening. The man with the grief beard is holding out his hand. There is a broken beer bottle on the bar counter and an impressive piece of brown glass is poking out of the stranger’s palm. From what Angel can see, the man looks annoyed instead of pained. Angel takes another whiff to try to understand what is going on. The odd scent in the stranger’s blood is stronger now.  
The man pulls the glass off his palm, and calls for a band-aid from probably the disappeared bartender, and when he doesn’t get it, his annoyance grows. Angel is very confused. He notices that the napkins are on his side of the counter. He takes them and walks to the other man. He can see the man was staring at a small photo of a blonde woman and a missing persons report of a young man. The man is putting them away into his pocket with his non-injured hand, to protect them from the blood.  


“Here.”  


The man looks up at him with a surprised look, but takes the napkins from Angel. “Thanks,” he says grumpily. He seems to use an excessive amount of force to rid his right palm of blood, no reaction to the usual discomfort and pain that would come from dealing with an open wound. Angel hasn’t moved back from the man, trying to figure out what is different about this man’s blood. And in general kinda wondering, what the fuck? The stranger seems rather odd. After he has stopped the bleeding, the man looks at Angel again, looking suspicious but raising his left hand to shake his. Angel takes it and sits by the man, although leaving a seat between them.  


“Nathan. Sorry if I bothered you.”  
“Angel. It’s no problem.”  


When the bartender appears again, Nathan orders another beer and another scotch for Angel. The bartender first cleans up the broken glass pieces and cleans the counter. Then he goes to fetch their drinks. But before their drinks can arrive, a group of truckers appears. They are talking loudly and Nathan checks his palm and the bleeding has stopped before standing up to go talk to the truckers. Angel turns to look at the situation, confused again. He can’t see Nathan’s face but judging by the faces of the truckers something weird is going on. He decides to listen in on the conversation.  


“Wanna hit me? Just 20 bucks a pop. It’s cheaper than therapy.”  


What the fuck? Angel’s reaction to pain is different than a human’s but even he wouldn’t go around getting punched for money. There is definitely something weird going on with Nathan. The bartender arrives with their drinks, and Angel asks him about the situation.  


“Oh, him. He’s been here a few days. He usually gets some dudes to hit him, so he’ll have enough money for his drinking and room.”  
“And you allow this?”  
The bartender shrugs, “They go outside, don’t bother the other customers, and nothing serious has happened. I’ve actually heard rumors that he’s been doing this in other parts of Maine for a bit.”  


Angel turns back to look at Nathan, who is about to go outside with a couple of men. Something is definitely up with that dude. His bloody napkins are still on the counter and Angel stares at them while sipping his scotch. No wonder he doesn’t like Maine. This type of weird shit is always going on. At least demons and vampires and Slayers make sense. 

He looks through the window to Nathan encouraging another middle aged man to hit him in the face. The man does. Angel’s enhanced hearing makes him hear the hit. He winces in sympathy, but Nathan just stands up again and takes his twenty. He does make faces, probably in order to figure out if something was broken, but he seems contend with the situation his face is in, and moves on to the next hitter. Angel turns away and tries to concentrate on his scotch again. 

After a few more minutes, the door opens again and there is chatter and laughter from the truckers. Nathan takes up his seat again at the counter, leaves out a twenty and pushes the rest of them in his jacket pocket. He opens his beer without seeming any worse for wear. Angel realizes he doesn’t know Nathan at all, it really isn’t his business, but he is really curious about what is going on. If his blood wasn’t so odd, he would probably leave Nathan alone to his getting-hit-for-money scheme. 

Nathan is already about half way done with his beer. He gurgled it in his mouth for a bit, before taking another napkin and spitting on it a little. There's no blood. Nathan nods to himself a little and continues drinking.

Angel can't help but think about one on Lorne's ways of phrasing thing. Nathan seems like an odd bird, and getting birdier. Even beyond the getting hit for money thing, Nathan has odd reactions to things. He should be drunker. He should be colder. Birdier and birdier. 

Angel decides to try something. He picks up his drink again and moves his left hand quietly towards Nathan's right hand. Nathan is seemingly not paying attention. Angel's left pinky touches Nathan's hand and.. .nothing. Nathan doesn't react. Angel puts some pressure into it and still nothing.

Except now Nathan is looking at Angel with a quirked eyebrow. Angel pulls back his hand.

Nathan pulls his own hand to safety, and sit up. "Look, for some reason, you seem pretty fascinated with me. I'm kinda flattered, I guess you're a pretty attractive man but the reason I do that-" Nathan is nods back towards the door, "is that I think I'd make a pretty terrible se-..." but Angel catches his drift and shakes his head and interrupts Nathan.

"Yeah, no. That's not what this is about." Angel does take a moment to really look at Nathan. There probably is a decent looking guy under that grief beard. Moving on. Angel looks around for a moment, but no one is paying them any mind. Angel still keeps his voice down. "You can't feel anything." Nathan doesn't seem to react to his statement, at all. Man, he keeps his feelings contained. Angel's impressed. "And your blood smells weird." 

This brings real confused surprise to Nathan's face. For a moment, at least. He turns away from Angel to order another beer from the break taking bartender. Nathan finishes his previous beer while gathering his thoughts. It gives Angel time to wonder if that is how he comes off to people. No wonder Cordelia complainted so much. He's torn away from his thoughts when Nathan speaks again, looking at Angel. 

"So, sharing time. Why are you smelling my blood?" Nathan's face has a look of horrified curiosity. "That's... really not the type of thing you just say to people. And my blood is weird, how?"  
"Umm...." Angel has no idea how to explain himself. There is something weird going on, but is it 'I will believe in vampires and souls' weird? "You first?" Angel really doesn't expect that to work. Nathan does look doubtful for a moment, thinking things through. He looks down at the cut in his palm. Somehow that seems to be the deciding factor and Nathan nods a little to himself.

"Let's go to that booth." Before Angel knows it, Nathan is walking towards the back of the bar, beer in hand. Angel finishes his scotch, orders 2 more beers and follows him. As Angel sits opposite him, Nathan nods his thanks.

"You ever been in Maine before? Heard any rumors about some of the towns?" 

"A few times. Not my favorite state. Don't remember any concrete rumors." Recently, anyway. He spent some time there in late '80s. 

"Heard of Haven?"

Angel thinks about it for a moment. He remembers seeing the name on a map, and maybe he's heard some whispers, but nothing solid.

"Nothing specific."

Nathan nods in acknowledgement. "Right. Yeah, well, basically every quarter century we get these things called the Troubles. Supernatural abilities. This is mine." Nathan holds up his open palm. The cut doesn't look too bad but Nathan doesn't exibit any discomfort. Angel can also see a bruise forming on Nathan's cheek. Angel is well aware of all the strange things in this world, and he has no problem believing Nathan's story.

"That could explain the blood." 

Nathan rubs at the cut on his hand, looking very thoughtful. He seems to struggle with which thought to go with first, but seems to come to a conclusion in a minute.

"So, I'm Troubled. What are you?

"A vampire."

Nathan doesn't look doubtful but he does look curious when he whispers, "Show me."  
Angel sighs. He did kinda brought this on himself. He makes sure no one can see him, and puts his gameface on for 15 seconds.

Nathan let's out a breathy laugh. "Figures. I don't think Haven has any of your type but it's not a suprise. We do have wendigos." Nathan replies and drinks more of his beer while shrugging. "So, my blood smells different to you than other human blood?" 

Angel feels very uncomfortable talking about this stuff, but he was the one who brought it up. 

"Yeah. I can't really explain how, but it does."

"Maybe this is more biological than I thought", Nathan mumbles to himself, rubbing his palm again. "So, what brings you to Maine, anyway?"

Angel shrugs a little. "I like to travel, sometimes. Might have heard stuff about this state. But you can't really stay in one place when you don't age."

Nathan nods in sympathy. He seems to be staring at Angel for a too long moment before asking "How old were you?"

Angel laughs uncomfortably. "26" he says quietly. "But that was a long time ago." 

Nathan nods again, but doesn't ask the natural follow up question of 'when' or 'how long ago'. Angel is a bit relieved. Cleary Nathan doesn't need more info from him. Blanked trust is something Angel rarely gets and he's not sure why Nathan's giving it to him. 

Angel orders both of them scotches before its his turn to ask questions. 

"So, why the 'hit me for cash' scheme? Why do you need the easy money?" 

Nathan gulps down half of his scotch before leaning closer to Angel. He smells the alcohol most strongly but there is also lots of other oders. Nathan reminds Angel of his homeless decades. 

"The Troubles are cyclical. They end every 27 years, and start coming back after about 2 and a half decades. I've had mine back about 3 years now. Turns out," Nathan gives a short humorless laugh, "they go away with a woman leaving in a magical barn. Which makes only slightly more sense in context. Unfortunately for absolutely everyone involved, that woman is the love of my life and I...didn't want to let her go. So I didn't. I shot the man who would take her away from me, which fucked up the barn which imploded right in front of me. And when it did, it contained Her, the closest thing I have to a best friend and... our son. And the Troubles didn't go away, and now they probably never will. And it's my fault. Cheers!" Nathan clinks the bottom of his glass with the top of Angel's and finishes it with another gulp. 

Angel can relate to aspects of Nathan's story. "Are you looking to get yourself killed?" is not quite what he was planning on saying but that is what came out. He remembers wanting die. For what he did, for his failures. Losing Connor. They have managed to develop some kind of relationship now, which is not quite father-son but Angel takes anything he can get with Connor. Cordy can visit him sometimes. He's not emotionally where Nathan is, but he has been.

"Are you offering?" Nathan smirks, but there is no humor in it. He stares at his hand again. The cut is closed by dried blood now and the scent isn't very strong. "Wonder if being a vampire would beat my Trouble?" Nathan mumbles to himself again. "What do you think?" Nathan looks up at Angel again. 

Angel shrugs. "No way to know really. And no, I'm not offering. I don't do that anymore." 

Nathan gives a look at the last bit, but moves on without saying anything about it. He stares out of the window into the darkness. "I don't know what I'm doing. Waiting for something to change, I guess. Whether that's death or something else. " He turns to Angel again. "Until then, I'm just surviving." He gives Angel something that looks vaguely like a smile and stands up from the booth. 

"Nice talking to you, Angel. Maybe we'll meet again." They shake hands and Angel watches Nathan pay his tab at the bar. 

After Nathan has left, Angel finds his own wallet and stares at the photo he keeps there. It's him and Cordy holding Connor as a baby on her birthday. He digs his phone from his pocket. He still has issues with using it, but he has gotten better, especially at texting. He finds Connor's number and starts writing.  
Angel: I'm in Maine right now. Want me to get you something? A snowglobe? Lobster?  
Connor: You're a weird dude Angel.  
Connor: And it's kinda late. Studying.  
Angel: Sorry. You shouldn't pull too many all-nighters.  
Connor: Says the vampire.  


Angel: Touche.  
Angel: I miss you. Is it ok if I visit you soon? Gunn could also come. Have a guys' thing.  
Connor: That could be fun. Or lame. Either way, two weeks from now should work. See you then.  
Angel: Great! I will bring you a snowglobe.  
Connor: Dork. Night Angel.  
Angel: Night, Connor.

Angel closes his phone. Maybe he should go to sleep. His internal clock is always a mess. There's nothing to do in this small Maine town this late anyway. He pays his tab and goes to his room. He wonders whether he should look into Haven's weirdness. He has no plans for the next 2 weeks. But a yawn surprises him.  
He doubts he will see Nathan again. He's on the run, which means he can't stay anywhere for too long. He feels for the other man. He's glad he is not in that headspace anymore. He hopes Nathan will make it through. Guilt is a terrible thing. Angel should know. Maybe he will visit Haven some day. But for now, he will sleep and look for other people to help later. Maybe talking with Angel helped Nathan. Maybe it made it worse. He has no way of knowing.  
Angel falls asleep thinking what it would be like not to feel anything. It's probably a blessing and a curse in someways. Maybe he will go to Haven and ask Nathan about it.


	2. Nathan PoV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made some adjustments to the Angel chapter while writing this one, so there were some, mostly small, differences between the original Angel chapter and the current one. Just a heads up for those who read that one earlier.

Nathan really should leave this place. This is his third night here, and rumors spread. He shouldn't stay in one place too long. He's lost count of how many beers he's drank today, but he should be fine by morning. He needs to move on.

Hah. Moving on. He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he doubts 'moving on' is the proper term. 

He is sitting alone on the bar counter. He's gotten hit by one batch of truckers already today but the bartender tells him there are others coming still later. He should have the money to leave then. 

Right now, though, he wants to wallow in pain and digs up his lifelines. He's not quite sure how that works, but he's still surviving, so that's something.  
A tiny photo of Audrey, before she crushed his heart and then left. James Cogan's, his(*their*) son's, missing persons report. He keeps reading it, trying to figure out the actual dates (because James has Nathan's jaw and Audrey's/Sarah's eyes and he is *theirs*) because the ones on it don't make any sense. He thinks about the one meeting he had with his son. He thinks about so many things but he is tired of it so he gulps down half of his beer bottle to almost finish it. He doesn't want to think, to feel. 

The beer doesn't end up helping, so he looks at the bottle for a moment accusingly and puts it down angrily. It breaks in his hand.

'Damnit' he thinks, before disentangling his hand from the mess. A big piece of brown glass is still stuck on his palm. It is also bleeding noticeably.  
"Well, fuck," escapes his mouth. 

Since his Trouble came back, he has found the failings of his body to be more an annoyance than something to take that seriously. It annoyed Audrey to no end. Thinking of her, he pulls the glass from his palm. The bleeding increases.

"Ted! Band-aid!" he yells at the bartender, who is not at the counter at the moment. This is so annoying.  
He gets even more annoyed when he realizes his lifelines are in danger, from beer and blood. He takes Audrey and James with his left hand and puts them to safety in his jacket pocket. 

He is trying to think about what to do about his bleeding palm when he hears a voice from his right side,  
"Here."

Nathan turns, surprised to see a dark haired man holding out napkins.

He tells him "Thanks," as he takes some from yhe dispenser. He's somewhat bothered by the grumpiness in his own voice but the other man doesn't seem to be bothered by his tone. Nathan starts using the napkins to effeciently rubbing the blood from his right palm. After dealing with the worst of it, Nathan notices the man hasn't moved back from him. He's also giving Nathan a look that Nathan recognizes well. It's the 'what the fuck is wrong with him' look. He's so very used to those. But there is still something peculiar about the other man's reaction. It's... odd. But he still wants to properly thank the man, and he is kinda curious. He extends his non-injured hand to shake the man's hand. The man takes it, and sits down near Nathan, leaving a seat between them.

“Nathan. Sorry if I bothered you.”  
“Angel. It’s no problem.”

Finally, Ted appears again, and Nathan orders himself another beer, and another drink for Angel (scotch). He gives Ted a larger than typical tip for the drinks, and Ted cleans up the counter, getting rid of the glass shards. Then he disappears again to get their drinks. But before Ted comes with the drinks, Nathan hears the sound he's been waiting for. A group of truckers arrive. They are talking loudly and Nathan has a good feeling about them. He checks to see that the bleeding on his palm has stopped, and he gets up from the counter to the group of truckers. He's gotten good at selling his 'services' over the last month or so. He puts on a fake smile and cheer in his voice, first doing some small talk before getting to his point.

"Wanna hit me? Just 20 bucks a pop. It’s cheaper than therapy."

He gets some typical disbelieving laughs, but a couple of guys decide to take him up on it, some others are either undecided or just like to watch people get hit. He takes the men outside on the porch/terrace and soon the order is decided, and the first man hits him in the face. Nathan has gotten used to getting hit like this by now. It's a routine. He gets another satisfied customer when the man gives him the usual 'you're crazy' spiel, but Nathan doesn't care about that as long as he gets his money.  
The next man looks a bit uncertain. Nathan encourages him a bit. "C'mon, I can take it." The man quickly gets over his uncertainty and hits Nathan on the jaw. This time the hit packs a real punch, and Nathan knows he needs a moment to try to figure out how much damage he endured. He twists his face around, tastes a little blood, which he spits out. As far as he can tell, the blood is his only issues, but he will have to check out the movement in his face later in his room.  
"Go for it," he tells the next hitter and soon his work is done.

After the truckers go back inside, Nathan takes a moment in the cool night air. He centers himself by examining all the scents in the air. He spits some more blood on the ground and goes in at the same time as the last of the truckers. They are laughing and talking again. Nathan goes straight back to his seat at the end of the counter. The man from earlier, Angel, is still sitting there. He is drinking his scotch, trying not to look at Nathan. Nathan ignores that. He leaves out a twenty for his later drinking and puts the money in his jacket pocket. His beer is waiting for him, so he opens it up and starts drinking with his uninjured hand. He doesn't want to open up the wound. He takes a small sip first, gurgles it in his mouth to get rid off the blood, making sure it's all gone through a spit test. Finding nothing but spit on the napkin, he nods to himself and continues drinking. He's making good work on his beer, and Angel's presence doesn't really affect him, although he can tell Angel seems somewhat fascinated by him. Nathan likes the quiet, semi-company of the other man. Nathan kinda expects Angel to eventually ask him something, but he's in no hurry to make that happen. 

But because Nathan lacks a sense, his remaining ones have to overcompensate and he notices that Angel has moved closer to him. Oddly closer. He turns to look at Angel, then looks down where he is laying his injured hand and Angel is... poking it? With his pinky? Nathan hates it when people touch him without permission or invade his personal space, but this is just so odd that he just quirks an eyebrow at Angel, who pulls his hand back. Nathan does the same, pulling his hand in the safety of his left side. The situation is just so *weird*. 

But Angel is not the first man who has shown this type of keen interest in him, and like for all the others, he needs to make something clear. First he really looks at Angel for a bit before turning away slightly because this stuff is awkward. "Look, for some reason, you seem pretty fascinated with me. I'm kinda flattered, I guess you're a pretty attractive man but the reason I do that-" Nathan is nods back towards the door, "is that I think I'd make a pretty terrible se-..." but before he has to finish his sentence, Angel interrupts him.  
"Yeah, no. That's not what this is about." Nathan is glad of that, but he is still waiting for Angel's real reason for the staring. Angel takes a moment to look around, but no one is paying them any mind. This isn't the type of place where you pay attention to your fellow patrons. Angel leans closer to Nathan now, but keeps his voice low.

"You can't feel anything."  
It's not news to Nathan, so he doesn't really react. Jumping right to the correct conclusion about his condition is a bit odd, but Nathan suspects there's something more to Angel's curiosity. Especially since after the silent waiting, Angel looks vaguely impressed by something. But it's what Angel says next that takes Nathan aback.  
"And your blood smells weird."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who says something like that? Nathan can't completely hide his feelings of confusion and surprise at Angel's words. He really needs more beer. He finishes the one he had and calls to Ted, who is taking a break with some friends, tells him to get him another beer, which he quickly does. Ted knows Nathan is a good tipper. It also allowed Nathan to turn away from Angel for a moment, to try to gather his thoughts. It seems Angel was doing the same, because when Nathan starts talking to Angel again, it takes Angel a moment to make eye contact with Nathan.

"So, sharing time. Why are you smelling my blood?" Nathan's face has a look of horrified curiosity. "That's... really not the type of thing you just say to people. And my blood is weird, how?"  
If the situation wasn't so damn weird, Nathan wouldn't have entertained Angel at all. He would have just walked away, drank some more and left in the morning without probably thinking of Angel again. But the Troubles *are* genetic, so maybe, maybe this means something. Or not. But he is curious. Just how much of a freak is he? Down to his blood?  
Angel's reply is a simple "Umm....You first?" 

Nathan is uncertain what to do. He wants the information. Angel seems to somehow have his own weirdness, and well, Angel has already figured out Nathan’s condition. He looks down at his open palm, at his weird smelling blood. What harm could it do, to tell Angel about Haven? To tell *someone*. He makes a decision, nods to himself, and tells Angel "Let's go to that booth."

Nathan gets up from the counter, takes his beer and starts moving towards the empty booths at the other side of the bar. Soon, Angel follows him, with 2 more beers in tow. Nathan is glad for those. He is definitely not drunk enough right now. He gives Angel brief grateful nod.

Nathan needs to get an idea of what exactly Angel might know about Haven, about Maine, so he asks "You ever been in Maine before? Heard any rumors about some of the towns?"  
"A few times. Not my favorite state. Don't remember any concrete rumors."  
"Heard of Haven?"  
"Nothing specific."

So, Angel doesn’t admit to knowing about the Troubles or anything like that. Fine then. Here he goes. He hasn’t really talked about the Troubles with an outsider before. He spent years not admitting he had a Trouble, not wanting to talk about them or acknowledge them. Now that there is no known end for them, telling a stranger is probably not the best idea. But Nathan doesn’t remember the last time he had a good idea, so what the hell.

"Right. Yeah, well, basically every quarter century we get these things called the Troubles. Supernatural abilities. This is mine." Nathan holds up his open palm. Nathan call tell by Angel’s look that he buys it. For a moment, Angel seems to stare rather intently at Nathan again which leaves Nathan feeling self conscious. He knows he looks like shit and he hasn’t even been able to check today’s damage. 

"That could explain the blood."  
Angel mentioning the blood makes him instinctively rub his hand over the cut. Should he tell more? Should he ask Angel what he is already? He’s still trying to figure out what the blood thing might really mean. 

"So, I'm Troubled. What are you?” 

Angel pauses for a moment. He seems to deal with his ‘specialness’ the same way Nathan does. Very awkwardly, while wishing they were normal. Eventually he confesses,  
"A vampire." 

That would explain definitely explain the blood thing. And, because Nathan needs equal truth and he has always been interested in knowing which ‘rules’ are right, he whispers, “Show me.” 

Angel sighs, which seems like an odd behavior for a vampire, but Nathan goes with it. No one can see Angel from this booth except Nathan, so Angel transforms his face for 10 seconds or so. His forehead goes bumpy and Nathan can see his fangs. Huh, so that’s what vampires look like in reality.

Nathan lets out a breathy laugh. "Figures. I don't think Haven has any of your type but it's not a surprise. We do have wendigos." Nathan says and drinks more of his beer while shrugging. "So, my blood smells different to you than other human blood?" Nathan can be very good at pretend nonchalance, and he employs those skills now. Angel on the other hand looks visibly uncomfortable. Well, he is the one who started talking to strange men of their blood.

"Yeah. I can't really explain how, but it does."  
"Maybe this is more biological than I thought", Nathan mumbles to himself, rubbing his palm again. "So, what brings you to Maine, anyway?"  
Angel shrugs a little. "I like to travel, sometimes. Might have heard stuff about this state. But you can't really stay in one place when you don't age."

Nathan nods in sympathy. This time it is his turn to stare at Angel for a significant time. "How old were you?"  
Angel gives an uncomfortable laugh. "26" he says quietly. "But that was a long time ago." That is such a nebulous age that people rarely *look* 26 but Angel does look 26. 

Nathan can do nothing but nod. James was 26 (or did he have his 27th birthday before he died? Did he have it with Lucy?) Nathan has no need to further pry into Angel's life experiences. 26 is too fucking young. Angel goes back to the bar to get them both scotches in preparation for his questions. Nathan briefly wonders whether it's smart to mix beer and scotch, but ends up not caring. If his Trouble is good for anything it's for saving him from some effects of a hangover. They sip their drinks in silence when Angel asks,  
"So, why the 'hit me for cash' scheme? Why do you need the easy money?"

This is why he needs to alcohol. Nathan gulps down half of his scotch before leaning closer to Angel. They make eye contact, and Angel seems to be taken aback by Nathan. Probably the smells. He needs to figure out a laundry situation in the next place. But there's also sympathy, or maybe empathy in Angel eyes, which makes Nathan break eye contact. He doesn't deserver any -pthy. 

"The Troubles are cyclical. They end every 27 years, and start coming back after about 2 and a half decades. I've had mine back about 3 years now. Turns out," Nathan gives a short humorless laugh, "they go away with a woman leaving in a magical barn. Which makes only slightly more sense in context. Unfortunately for absolutely everyone involved, that woman is the love of my life and I...didn't want to let her go. So I didn't. I shot the man who would take her away from me, which fucked up the barn which imploded right in front of me. And when it did, it contained Her, the closest thing I have to a best friend and... our son. And the Troubles didn't go away, and now they probably never will. And it's my fault. Cheers!"  
Nathan clinks the bottom of his scotch glass with the top of Angel's and finishes it with another gulp. After he's done, he looks at Angel for a reaction. There is definitely empathy in his eyes now but Nathan doesn't want to know why.

"Are you looking to get yourself killed?" Both of them seem surprised at Angel's words. But Nathan's reply is not an accident.  
"Are you offering?" Nathan smirks, but there is no humor in it. He stares at his hand again. The dried blood is a small reminder of what he is. It all does bring a thought to Nathan's mind.  
"Wonder if being a vampire would beat my Trouble?" Nathan mumbles to himself again. "What do you think?" Nathan looks up at Angel again, looking for Angel's vamp expertise opinion. If vampiricism wouldn't beat his Trouble, he wonders how he would want to go. By sunrise, probably.  
Angel shrugs. "No way to know really. And no, I'm not offering. I don't do that anymore."

Yep, there is a story there, probably a long one. But Nathan lets Angel keep his story. He turns to stare out of the window into the wintery darkness.  
"I don't know what I'm doing. Waiting for something to change, I guess. Whether that's death or something else." He turns to Angel again.  
"Until then, I'm just surviving."  
He gives Angel something that looks vaguely like a smile and stands up from the booth.

"Nice talking to you, Angel. Maybe we'll meet again." They shake hands and Angel watches Nathan pay his tab at the bar.

It’s past time for him to leave this place. He goes to his room, makes sure whatever possessions he still has left are all packed and ready to go. He’s been drinking too much leave right now. He will need to get a couple of hours of sleep, a breakfast and coffee and then he will be off to the next place. 

He really shouldn’t have stayed for the third day, he needs to move on quicker. But he ends up being glad that he did. He didn’t end up knowing that much about Angel but there is something about talking with someone who seems to understand. There was something about Angel that made Nathan feel like he understood Nathan. 

Nathan gives out a joyless laugh. He connected with a fucking *vampire*. It’s oddly fitting, given everything that’s happened to him. 

He has band-aids in his room, and before going to sleep he finally fixes his palm. Lying down on his bed, he holds his hand up, staring at it, thinking of the blood the band-aid hides and what its different scent might mean. 

Maybe he will survive this. Maybe he will meet Angel again, ask for his story. Maybe he will eventually fix everything he broke. 

Or maybe he won’t. Maybe The Guard will find him and kill him before he even knows what happened. Life is so uncertain. He sighs, closes his eyes and finishes his evening ritual.  
“Good night Audrey. Good night James. Good Duke. I’m sorry I failed you. I love you...”  
Nathan falls asleep to have another restless night. In the morning he leaves the motel. His penance isn’t done yet.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Meeting in Maine, Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13362408) by [Nocticola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola)




End file.
